Everyday I’m like “today imma get my shit together” and by the end of the day I’m like “tomorrow is the day for real”
The human body has 7 trillion nerves and some people manage to get on every single fucking one of them
(Source: simpl-ic-ity, via tyleroakley)
please don’t base my singing skill off how I sing along at concerts because that’s not singing that’s hysteria
(Source: alltheprettyghouls, via infinityonlame)
Anonymous said: omg if baby oil dissolves condoms what the fuck does it do to babies???
This may be shocking, but babies and condoms are made of different material
it’s like rock paper scissors: baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby